Demy de Zeeuw has achieved remarkable success both on and off the football pitch. As a player, he graced clubs like AZ and Ajax, and represented the Dutch national team at the World Cup in South Africa. Following his playing career, he successfully launched his own ventures: the clothing brand BALR and the football platform 433. Yet, De Zeeuw's life hasn't always been as idyllic as it might appear.
Documentary
In the documentary Real Men Don't Cry, De Zeeuw opens up about the mental struggles he faced during his youth. Initiated by former footballers Edson Braafheid and Gianni Zuiverloon, the documentary focuses on the mental well-being of professional footballers.
"My mother was sixteen when she had me, my father was twenty-one. So they were really very young," De Zeeuw candidly begins in the documentary. "And when I see people of that age now, I think, 'how can you even have a child or think about having a child?' But it happened with me and my parents."
'Unwanted'
Due to his parents' young age, the former midfielder often felt unwanted. "If you have that unwanted feeling that you have to do everything alone, then you'll do it alone. And then you'll also say: 'I don't need anyone,'" he explains. "I've always had that conviction. That I don't need anyone."
De Zeeuw found significant solace in hearing stories from others grappling with similar issues. "So many people feel the same way. I received so many messages from so many people who also share that feeling," De Zeeuw clarifies. "And who also say: 'but you are wanted.' And that's something that's evident. That a lot of people really struggle with that. That did surprise me, yes."
Fatherhood
De Zeeuw's challenging relationship with his parents also fueled many doubts about his own fatherhood. "So I don't have a very clear ideal image of: 'okay, what's it like to be a dad?' Or what's a good example?" were some of the questions that arose for him. "Now I have a wife and children, and they do need me."
That insecurity continues to impact the successful businessman's life. "Often, I still do too many things alone. While I should actually involve my wife and children much more," concludes De Zeeuw, who hung up his boots in 2016.
Janmaat
In the documentary Real Men Don't Cry, various former footballers discuss the problems they experienced during or after their careers. For instance, former Feyenoord player Daryl Janmaat revealed his past drug addiction, while Ryan Donk isolated himself and turned to drinking in Turkey. With the documentary, the former footballers hope to break the taboo surrounding men's mental health.